IELTS Academic Writing Task 1 – Sample Test 20 (Multi Pie Charts)

Task Question

The pie charts below illustrate the distribution of internet usage by purpose in one country in 2010 and 2020.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

IELTS Writing Task 1 Test 20 – Internet usage in 2010 and 2020

Figure: Internet usage purposes in 2010 and 2020

Sample Answer (Band 8.0–8.5)

The two pie charts illustrate how people in a particular country used the internet in 2010 and 2020. Overall, the data reveal a clear shift from leisure-based activities such as emailing and browsing towards more practical and commercial uses, particularly e-commerce and online streaming.

In 2010, the largest proportion of internet activity was devoted to email communication (35%), followed by general browsing (30%). Entertainment activities, including online videos and music, accounted for 20%, while online shopping was relatively minor at just 10%. The smallest share was research-related usage, at 5%.

By 2020, however, the distribution had altered considerably. Online shopping rose dramatically to 30%, overtaking email, which fell sharply to 15%. Streaming services also expanded their share to 25%, reflecting the rise of digital entertainment platforms. Meanwhile, browsing declined to 20%, and research grew modestly to 10%.

In summary, while email and casual browsing lost ground over the decade, shopping and streaming became the dominant drivers of internet use, highlighting the increasing importance of digital services in daily life.

Analytical Review – IELTS Academic Writing Task 1 (Test 20, Multi Pie Charts)

Overall Verdict

Indicative band: 8.0–8.5

  • Task Achievement: Covers both years (2010 and 2020) with clear overview and focus on shifts in internet usage purposes.
  • Coherence & Cohesion: Logical flow from dominant activities in 2010 → major changes by 2020 → overall summary.
  • Lexical Resource: Effective vocabulary such as “commercial uses,” “leisure-based activities,” “overtook,” “digital services.”
  • Grammar: Accurate complex clauses, passive structures, and comparative forms.

Key Weaknesses

  • Quantification: Percentages were mentioned but not always emphasized with comparative phrases (e.g., “tripled,” “halved”).
  • Sentence density: Some sentences are long and could be trimmed for sharper readability.
  • Comparative clarity: Links between the decline in email/browsing and the rise of shopping/streaming could be more explicit.
  • Range of synonyms: Terms like “increase” and “rise” appear multiple times without much variation.

Actionable Improvements (High-Impact)

  1. Add precise contrasts: Use expressions like “tripled from 10% to 30%” or “halved from 35% to 15%.”
  2. Sharpen contrasts: Pair declines and rises directly (e.g., “As email usage fell, shopping surged.”).
  3. Lexical variety: Broaden vocabulary with terms like “ballooned,” “contracted,” “dominated.”
  4. Simplify phrasing: Break long descriptive sentences into two shorter, more focused statements.
  5. Highlight trends: Stress the shift from leisure to commercial utility as the main narrative.

Stronger Synonyms (Topic-Fit)

  • increase → expand soar balloon escalate
  • decrease → shrink contract plummet fall off
  • dominant → prevalent leading prevailing
  • leisure activities → recreational uses entertainment purposes
  • commercial uses → economic activities transactional purposes

Linking Devices (Cohesion)

  • Contrast: whereas, by contrast, in opposition, unlike
  • Addition: furthermore, in addition, likewise, also
  • Result: as a result, therefore, consequently, hence
  • Time: initially, over the decade, by 2020, subsequently
  • Emphasis: notably, strikingly, critically, above all
  • Quant cues: doubled, tripled, reduced by half, accounted for

High-Value Collocations (Digital Trends)

  • leisure-based activities
  • commercial expansion
  • digital consumption surge
  • transactional internet use
  • decline in traditional emailing
  • rise of streaming platforms
  • shift towards e-commerce

Rewrite Upgrades (Band-9 polish)

  • Original: “Online shopping rose dramatically to 30%.”
    Upgrade: “Online shopping ballooned to 30%, tripling its share over the decade.”
  • Original: “Email fell sharply to 15%.”
    Upgrade: “The proportion of email usage contracted dramatically, falling by more than half to 15%.”
  • Original: “Streaming services expanded their share.”
    Upgrade: “Streaming services escalated in significance, climbing five percentage points to secure a quarter of overall use.”

Model Sentences (Precise Quantification)

  • “By 2020, online shopping tripled from 10% to 30%, overtaking all other purposes.”
  • “Email use halved over the decade, declining from over a third to just 15%.”
  • “Streaming accounted for a quarter of total usage, compared with only one-fifth in 2010.”

Grammar Targets

  • Comparatives: “X was nearly twice Y,” “A surpassed B by 10 percentage points.”
  • Passives: “The proportion was reduced to 15%.”
  • Nominalisation: “A dramatic contraction in email usage was observed.”
  • Adverbials: “strikingly expanded,” “substantially declined.”

Quick Checklist (Before Submit)

  • Clear overview contrasts 2010 vs 2020.
  • Precise percentages and quantified changes included.
  • Lexical variety beyond simple “increase/decrease.”
  • Sentences concise, balanced with some complex forms.
  • Collocations aligned with digital and commercial trends.

تحلیل دوزبانه – IELTS Academic Writing Task 1 (Test 20, Multi Pie Charts)

ارزیابی کلی

نمره تقریبی: 8.0 تا 8.5

  • پوشش کامل دو سال (۲۰۱۰ و ۲۰۲۰) با مرور کلی شفاف
  • انسجام در توالی: مرور فعالیت‌های غالب ۲۰۱۰ → تغییرات مهم ۲۰۲۰ → جمع‌بندی
  • واژگان تخصصی مانند «کاربردهای تجاری»، «فعالیت‌های تفریحی»، «پیشی گرفتن»، «خدمات دیجیتال»
  • گرامر دقیق شامل جملات مرکب، مجهول و مقایسه‌ای

Overall Verdict

Indicative band: 8.0–8.5

  • Task Achievement: Covers both years (2010 and 2020) with clear overview and focus on shifts in internet usage purposes.
  • Coherence & Cohesion: Logical flow from dominant activities in 2010 → major changes by 2020 → overall summary.
  • Lexical Resource: Effective vocabulary such as “commercial uses,” “leisure-based activities,” “overtook,” “digital services.”
  • Grammar: Accurate complex clauses, passive structures, and comparative forms.

نقاط ضعف

  • عدم تأکید کافی روی تغییرات عددی دقیق (مثل دو برابر شدن یا نصف شدن)
  • چند جمله طولانی که خوانایی را کاهش داده‌اند
  • پیوند کاهش ایمیل/وب‌گردی و رشد خرید/استریم به اندازه کافی روشن بیان نشده
  • تنوع محدود در استفاده از مترادف‌های increase و rise

Key Weaknesses

  • Quantification: Percentages were mentioned but not always emphasized with comparative phrases (e.g., “tripled,” “halved”).
  • Sentence density: Some sentences are long and could be trimmed for sharper readability.
  • Comparative clarity: Links between the decline in email/browsing and the rise of shopping/streaming could be more explicit.
  • Range of synonyms: Terms like “increase” and “rise” appear multiple times without much variation.

پیشنهادهای بهبود

  1. استفاده از عبارات دقیق مثل «سه برابر شدن از ۱۰٪ به ۳۰٪» یا «نصف شدن از ۳۵٪ به ۱۵٪»
  2. جفت‌سازی کاهش‌ها و افزایش‌ها (مثلاً: «همزمان با افت ایمیل، خرید آنلاین جهش کرد»)
  3. تنوع‌بخشی به واژگان (balloon, contract, dominate)
  4. تقسیم جملات طولانی به جملات کوتاه‌تر
  5. تأکید روی تغییر روایت از تفریح به کاربردهای تجاری

Actionable Improvements

  1. Add precise contrasts: Use expressions like “tripled from 10% to 30%” or “halved from 35% to 15%.”
  2. Sharpen contrasts: Pair declines and rises directly (e.g., “As email usage fell, shopping surged.”).
  3. Lexical variety: Broaden vocabulary with terms like “ballooned,” “contracted,” “dominated.”
  4. Simplify phrasing: Break long descriptive sentences into two shorter, more focused statements.
  5. Highlight trends: Stress the shift from leisure to commercial utility as the main narrative.

مترادف‌های قوی

  • افزایش → expand, soar, balloon, escalate
  • کاهش → shrink, contract, plummet, fall off
  • غالب → prevalent, leading, prevailing
  • فعالیت‌های تفریحی → recreational uses, entertainment purposes
  • کاربردهای تجاری → economic activities, transactional purposes

Stronger Synonyms

  • increase → expand, soar, balloon, escalate
  • decrease → shrink, contract, plummet, fall off
  • dominant → prevalent, leading, prevailing
  • leisure activities → recreational uses, entertainment purposes
  • commercial uses → economic activities, transactional purposes

حروف ربط

  • تضاد: whereas, by contrast, unlike
  • افزودن: moreover, likewise, in addition
  • نتیجه: therefore, consequently, as a result
  • زمان: initially, subsequently, by 2020

Linking Devices

  • Contrast: whereas, by contrast, in opposition, unlike
  • Addition: furthermore, in addition, likewise, also
  • Result: as a result, therefore, consequently, hence
  • Time: initially, over the decade, by 2020, subsequently
  • Emphasis: notably, strikingly, critically, above all
  • Quant cues: doubled, tripled, reduced by half, accounted for

کالوکیشن‌های کلیدی

  • فعالیت‌های تفریحی → leisure-based activities
  • گسترش تجاری → commercial expansion
  • افزایش مصرف دیجیتال → digital consumption surge
  • کاربردهای تراکنشی اینترنت → transactional internet use
  • افت ایمیل سنتی → decline in traditional emailing
  • رشد استریمینگ → rise of streaming platforms
  • چرخش به سمت تجارت آنلاین → shift towards e-commerce

High-Value Collocations

  • leisure-based activities
  • commercial expansion
  • digital consumption surge
  • transactional internet use
  • decline in traditional emailing
  • rise of streaming platforms
  • shift towards e-commerce